Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I look better un-naked...
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
