At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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