I think my vagina is haunted
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
