She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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