yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
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well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
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Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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