I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
