I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
