just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
