I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
