you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
