Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Randomize
