So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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