don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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