I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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