There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
