Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
