I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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