i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
