How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
