can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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