Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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