Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
