What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
