just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Couch. On fire.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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