In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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