I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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