i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
