I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
