I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
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