i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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