Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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