Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize