All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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