I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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