508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
