She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
