I can't watch pbs sober anymore
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
