Sry I called you an 8
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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