9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bed is full of blood and feathers
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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