Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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