I like to think it a success when the cops are called
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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