If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
