Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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