I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize