Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
