How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
