This girl is more easily done than said...
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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