Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
