I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
