Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Randomize
