Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I skipped work to stalk him.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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