I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
