I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Randomize
