Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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