we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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