I think my vagina is haunted
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
